DepressedDuck

You're here, because you feel you need to know something. But you know all that too well already. I feel happy that you read this, it makes me happy inside. The very fact that you exist makes me happy. When you find your love, I will feel happy. I'm your guardian, I do not wish to hurt you, I do not wish to be a nuisance. But no matter what you say, you can't get me to leave you out of my head or forget about you. I don't even like smokers, but it somehow doesn't matter to me what you do even. I know that nobody cares for you as much as I do. You wonder why and turn away in disgust and all I say it's because of the past and the fact that I'm curious about how you've changed. I am a happy and friendly person and I want you to see that I'm innocent and honest in every way. I feel that we are somehow connected. I seek you in my deepest memories and dreams. You're different now, we all are. There are others out there and I know that we will never be. I've seen you and wanted to talk to you. But then I saw you and the way you danced, the way he held you up in the air. It crushed my very soul. I've felt mellow for a long time, but that night I wanted to kill myself. I cried to sleep on my kitchen floor, because I wanted that same happy feeling, if only for a moment. It's not you that makes me sad, it's everything that's been stacking up in my life. I wish someday to move on but something tells me I never will. I want us to go out with our dogs and just talk about things, but it seems you are so out of reach. You don't see me as I see you, and that's a shame, but that's life.